pick-up lines #2

from dara’s student:
“you got a raisin?”
“no.”
“then how about a date?”

*drumroll*

a lesson in the english language

 last night i shot an elephant in my pajamas…

…the thing that gets me is how the elephant got into my jammies. :P

a quick lesson in english: Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a glance what they modify.

although phrases and clauses can appear at some distance from the words they modify, make sure that your meaning is clear. when phrases or clauses are misplaced, ABSURD misreadings can result.

revised
Last night in my pajamas, i shot an elephant.

The revision corrects the false impression that i shot an elephant who was wearing my pajamas. even though this is the correct way to say it… it’s just not funny anymore.

geek joke

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with a used car dealer?

A: autoexec.bat

im convo #2

(spelling errs have been corrected, so that you may understand what is being said).

anh: hey man, i wanna go to McD’s.
nate: ok, then go.
anh: are you at home?
nate: oh, you mean, you wanna go to McD’s with me.
anh: yeah, you silly… eachan is out with her gf’s. they went to fan-do.
nate: fan-do?
anh: you know, that place…
nate: what place?
anh: where they dip that stuff in the thing.
nate: oh, you mean that thing in the place with those people? i think you mean fondue.
anh: oh yeah, that’s it.

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originally posted on dj @ 1:06pm – 2 January 2004

my family

robyn laden: why does mommy have those rubber-thingies in her mouth?

daddy: because she talks to much.

on weight loss

Want my weight loss secret?

Here it is: get off your lazy bum and do something that involves physical activity. Happy weight loss!
(taken from jeff wong)

picture of the week

The cosmic ballet goes on.

pick-up lines

pick-up line of the week: (submitted by pastor harrison)
“i think i need a new library card, because i’m checking you out.”

family dinner

INT. CAR – NIGHT
ALI and NATE are driving in the car to meet up with KRISTA and her family for dinner.

ALI
yeah… so we’re having dinner with krista’s family. oh, and i think her niece is going to be there too! she is so cute!

NATE
is she black? cause you know… i have a black nephew.

ALI
you mean daniel’s kid, right?

NATE
yeah.

ALI
what does he do for a living?

NATE
he’s in the navy.

ALI
(singing to the tune of the village people)
“in the na…”

NATE
(quickly interjecting)
no. not that navy. the other one.

ALI
oh. gotcha.

 

FIN.

 

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originally posted on dj @ 9:22pm - 23 January 2005

poop

constipated people just don’t give a crap.

*drumroll*

thank you! i’m here until thursday.